So I can understand where this guy, Brian Bruggeman, is coming from. He obviously appreciates cutting good cheese. Unfortunately for poor Bri, he's in jail, and his cell mate appears to not really dig Bri's farts. Who can blame him? Your farts only smell good to you, not to whoever you're holding the head of under the blankets.
Dude. Knock it off, or your cell mate might cork your ass with his fist.
In other news, Michael Jackson is weird. Okay, that's not news. The news is, he's suing his accountants.
Jacko, you haven't made any good music in years. Your finances are in the toilet because you spend ridiculous amounts of money on stupid shit. You molest little boys. And you're more eccentric than Howard Hughes.
Is there any chance you could contract a fatal disease and die?
And now, two uplifting stories out of Florida. Voting rights for felons, and a kick-ass grandma who showed the bad guy who was boss.
The funny thing about Gary Siplin, who wants to let felons vote in Florida, is that he has some input, and much interest, in the matter, because he's a state Senator who happens to also be a felon.
Shit, people of Florida. THIS is the best you can find to represent you? That's pretty fucking sad.
And kick-ass grandma Ellinor Billick? Some career criminal named Tyrone Davis (wonder what color HE is?) tried to car-jack her, and she just floored it and dragged the son of a bitch until the police started chasing them. I'm guessing he's got the mother of all cases of road rash.
Rock on, Granny, and Tyrone, remember that crime doesn't pay.
And finally, two stories about being second banana.
The official John Edwards website jumped the gun, and announced that he's running for President before he got around to announcing it himself. Oops.
Even while campaigning with John Kerry in 2004, he hated being second banana. Look:
You're second banana again, John-boy, because Hillary has a bigger dick than you, and I bet that Obama guy does too.
The other second banana is an understudy who tried to poison the leading lady. Katherine Smith told a bunch of people she had the lead role, but she didn't. She was just the understudy.
So she decided it would be a good idea to spike the real leading lady's Mountain Dew with bleach.
Okay, Kate. I can't decide who's a bigger moron - you, or that doorknob who thinks he's going to be President.
No comments:
Post a Comment