No! Wait! Be patient! This is the funniest one yet.
--In the neighborhood President Bush visited right after Hurricane Katrina, the U.S. government gave $84.5 million to more than 10,000 households. But census figures show that fewer than 8,000 homes existed there at the time.
Now the government wants back a lot of its money.--
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Good luck with that one, Uncle Sam. Those "poor victims" spent that money the day after you doled it out. Even if you could find the people who light-fingered your dough - which you most likely can't - they are as poor now as they were the day they sang and danced with glee because the government was giving away "free" money to hurricane victims.
Read the whole article. It's a hoot, especially the part where some people can't get any aid at all, because another person already used their address to scarf up some bucks.
And, uh, remind me again why we're obligated to help these idiots in the first place?
In a shocking new twist on the old "africans are stupid" theme, we have a bunch of african christians pissed off by a display involving Turkana Boy.
--Deep in the dusty, unlit corridors of Kenya's national museum, locked away in a plain-looking cabinet, is one of mankind's oldest relics: Turkana Boy, as he is known, the most complete skeleton of a prehistoric human ever found.
But his first public display later this year is at the heart of a growing storm -- one pitting scientists against Kenya's powerful and popular evangelical Christian movement. The debate over evolution vs. creationism -- once largely confined to the United States -- has arrived in a country known as the cradle of mankind.--
Young-earth creationists are funny. But it's even funnier to find them in africa, where the fossil record is so clear and so... available.
I don't get what the big deal is anyway. I mean, I don't mind sharing a common ancestor with my antlered brethren of other species. Well, except for Chapeau, because he's a dork, but you get my general drift.
Besides which, even if this "God" dude did create the Earth like in the bible, who's to say he didn't also set evolution in motion so he could watch it play out while eating popcorn and laughing his ass off.
And in the "Don't the Congress-critters READ this shit before they vote for it?!?!" category, we have a plan to collect DNA from illegals.
--The Justice Department is completing rules to allow the collection of DNA from most people arrested or detained by federal authorities, a vast expansion of DNA gathering that will include hundreds of thousands of illegal immigrants, by far the largest group affected.
The new forensic DNA sampling was authorized by Congress in a little-noticed amendment to a January 2006 renewal of the Violence Against Women Act, which provides protections and assistance for victims of sexual crimes. The amendment permits DNA collecting from anyone under criminal arrest by federal authorities, and also from illegal immigrants detained by federal agents.--
Personally, I think this sounds like a pretty good idea. I just think it's funny as shit that people are whining NOW about a law that was passed more than a year ago. Uh, do-gooders? That horse done left the barn a LONG while back.
In the words of Ricky Ricardo, "Luthie, you got some essplainin' to do." Don't be surprised when your constituents are pissed, do-gooders.
In the "Krazy Kalifornians" realm, we have a County Clerk who is going to issue Certificates of Inequality to gay couples on Valentine's Day.
--They will say, "I issue this Certificate of Inequality to you because your choice of marriage partner displeases some people whose displeasure is, apparently, more important than principles of equality."--
You know, I'm all for letting gays marry. But I think ol' Freddie the County Clerk (A chick named Freddie? Anything you want to tell us, Freddie?) does the cause more harm than good with stunts like this.
It's kind of like those Gay Pride marches where you see shit like a flaming homo running aound naked, with his nut-sack painted bright pink and rabbit ears attached to his dick. Dude, no one wants to see your junk done up like the Easter Bunny, and it sure doesn't do much to bolster any claims that gays are "Just like everyone else, and want the same things straight people want."
Sorry, no. Straight guys don't want to deck their grnitals out like rodents.
Similarly, Freddie's little stunt isn't meant to advance the cause of gay marriage. It's intended to piss people off, and it's going to work, and that will be a set-back even in fruity California.
Freddie's time would be better spent writing letters to her elected representatives.
And our "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!" moment for the day goes to the revelation that most faux fur is dog hair.
--Many fur or fur-trimmed jackets sold in the United States as having "faux fur" -- or not labeled at all -- are actually made, at least in part, from dog fur, the Humane Society of the United States said at a Capitol Hill news conference Wednesday.--
Gee. I didn't know "faux" and "Rin Tin Tin" were synonyms. You learn something new every day.
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