Happy President's Day

Today, we are celebrating two VIPs - Very Important Presidents. (One of them is rumored to have been a Very Impotent President as well, when it came to the ladies, but that's between him and the Log Cabin Republicans.)

Ahem. We are gathered to honor George Washington, the first President, and Abraham Lincoln, who was the Big Cheese that emancipated the slaves.

I think it kinda sucks that they have to share a day. it didn't used to be this way. They each had their own, a couple of weeks apart. But then with MLK Day being late in January, something had to be done, so they tooled Washington and Lincoln.

You know what else sucks? How come Washington and Lincoln have such shitty monetary denominations bearing their likeness? I mean, c'mon. The One and five dollar bills? That's sort of chintzy.

Although to be honest, George gets tucked into strippers' G-strings in titty bars, so maybe being on the one dollar bill isn't all bad. But Lincoln totally gets the shaft.

I can't believe I just went there.

Ahem. Presidents and money.

George's place is secure on the dollar bill, because every attempt to introduce a dollar coin has been an utter failure. It didn't help that the people gracing the two latest attempts - Susan B. Anthony and a woo-woo named Sack O'Weebles or something - were women. And not attractive women. No, these gals were serious uggers.

Damn. I feel my moose wang shrinking just thinking about those coins.

And now, the Treasury is going to try again. There's going to be dollar coins with pictures of all the dead Presidents on them.

--Coin enthusiasts and casual collectors lined up Thursday morning at Grand Central Terminal in New York for the first opportunity to get the $1 presidential coin - but the new coin's widespread adoption is far from guaranteed.

The coin features George Washington and will be followed this year by coins featuring John Adams, Thomas Jefferson and James Madison. Four new coins will be introduced each year featuring presidents in the order they served.--

So every President will get his turn.

That's nice, but can you see anybody actually USING these coins? As opposed to, say, collecting them and putting them in one of those little coin holder things that has a space for every dead President, and continuing to use paper bills?

Yeah, me either.

Oh, well. Not my Milky Way. If your government keeps trying to ram a dollar coin up your ass, and you keep refusing to use it, maybe the HMFICs will eventually give up. And then they can move on to more pressing matters.

Like figuring out how in the hell horny titty bar patrons were going to use coins to tip the strippers.

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