Hump Day Hilarity

From the "Okay, that's just WRONG" files, we have the story of two circus clowns, who were cancelled while they were clowning.

Two clowns were shot and killed by an unidentified gunman during their performance at a traveling circus in the eastern Colombian town of Cucuta, police said Wednesday.

The gunman burst into the Circo del Sol de Cali on Monday night and shot the clowns in front of an audience of 20 to 50 people, local police chief Jose Humberto Henao told Reuters.

One of the clowns was killed instantly, and the second died the next day in hospital.

Just goes to show ya, not everything having to do with clowns is funny.

Seriously, though, why does so much fucked up shit happen in Columbia? Is it something in the water?

Rest in peace, clown dudes.

From the "Did you hear?" files comes the news that Gallaudet University is in danger of losing their accreditation.

--The nation's only liberal arts university for the deaf could lose its accreditation unless it addresses concerns about weak academic standards, ineffective governance and a lack of tolerance for diverse views, an education oversight group warned.--

Lousy academic standards and shitty graduation rates are bad enough, and reason enough for this school to lose its accreditation. But what's really fucked up is the way the militant deaf folks treat the other hearing-impaired students.

The deafness nazis think the only way deaf people should communicate is via American Sign Language (ASL). Any hearing-impaied individual who wants to talk to others in a fashion that doesn't resemble a gorilla fending off a wasp attack is "audist." (Yeah, I love those made-up terms too. *Gag.*) The deafness nazis also oppose hearing aids, cochlear inplants, lip reading, and attempts to speak. And they swear that deafness is not a disability, but rather, a "culture." (To which I say, see your doctor about that "culture" in your privates before it's too late.)

Ahem. What I'd like to point out is that the deaf nazis can't have it both ways. If deafness is not a disability, then why is it considered one under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA)? These people would scream if they lost their legally required closed captioning and their enormous educational expenditures, and then still have the chutzpah to blink prettily and say not being able to hear is a CULTURE?!?!

What the fuck ever.

Fortunately, money talks and bullshit walks. Gallaudet can either clean up their act, or lose $100 million a year in funding.

Gee. I wonder which path they will choose.

On a much lighter note, stupid lottery winners make me laugh.

--A couple who won a $2.6 million lottery jackpot and spoke of helping young people fight drug addiction and alcohol abuse are facing a lawsuit alleging they held four months of parties with public sex, fights and signs of drug dealing.

The city lawsuit against Elizabeth and Samuel Howard also detailed allegations of an assault on a neighbor, slashed tires and loud music.

Samuel Howard, 54, denied the allegations.--

Okay, so you pocket $871,000, you use $285,000 of that to buy a house, and then you piss the balance away on a four-month orgy of sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll.

Sounds like a plan to me.

*snicker*

And in our occasional



updates, we have gawk-worthy material on O.J., Anna Nicole, and Britney.

Fred Goldman and O.J. are at it again, with Goldman being awarded The Juice's royalties, such that they are, and Machete Boy being told AGAIN to stop spending so much money.

Given O.J.'s lawyer's taunting of ol' Fred about "knocking on closed doors," the eventual and inevitable scragging draws ever nearer.

In Anna Nicole Smithnews, there was some sort of creepy viewing of her body early this morning, and they're having some sort of hearing to talk about what to do with said body before it rots. Because, ya know, people who have been dead almost two weeks have a bad habit of decomposing, no matter how much everyone tells them to just chill.

Inconsiderate bastards.

And in the latest Britney blow-up, she did the In & Out at rehab again. Checked out early this morning, less than a day after checking in.

Okey dokey. Somebody REALLY doesn't want help.

Congratulations, Brit. Besides securing your place as Mother Of The Year, you've done something I didn't think was possible. You've made K-Fed look like the good guy.

I mourn for the inoocent school girl Britney that made me box my clown over and over and over.

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