The N-Word Conference

What in the fuck? A four day conference about the word "nigger"?

--With a debate swirling nationwide over the n-word, a historically black college in Alabama has set aside four days to discuss the racial slur.

Participants at the conference, which began Thursday and ends Sunday, discussed topics ranging from the origins of the epithet to whether juggling a few letters makes it socially acceptable at the "N" Surrection Conference at Stillman College.

Organizers said the goal of the event is to challenge the use of the n-word "through the use of intelligent dialogue and a thorough examination of black history."--

Um, okay. How exactly is this going to go?

Host: "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to our conference about the word nigger."

Participant A: "Hey! You can't say nigger! People shouldn't be allowed to say nigger!"

Participant B: "I disagree. I think it's okay if black people use it. But not crackers or spics."

Participant C: "You're wrong. Nigger is always bad, but nigga is fine."

Host: "Gentlemen, if you could just calm down, and let me finish my opening remarks..."

Participants A, B, and C: "Fuck you, nigga!"

Seriously. You might better try to get a group of feminists to agree on something. This is chaos in the making.

Oh, what I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall for THAT little dust-up.

But on to the serious subject of "offensive" words, and later the controversial notion of "reclaiming" them.

I guess I'm just not sure what these people hope to accomplish, if they can't even reach a consensus as to whether or when a word or its derivatives are offensive.

I mean, I think we can all agree that a Klan meeting full of inbred rednecks chanting, "Kill the niggers!" is offensive. Or can we? What if it's done as depicting such a meeting in a film, in the context of events that happened at another time in America's history?

Okay, so that might be acceptable. Let me find another example.

I think we can all agree that a white businessman who elbows his way in front of a black businessman to get a cab on a busy New York City street while shouting, "That's my cab, nigger!" has said something offensive. Aside from the fact that that's an unlikely event, it'll work for what I'm about to say.

The obvious instances don't answer the questions. What about black people who don't want to hear the word nigger? Should they wear a special pin or have it tattooed on their forhead or something so other black people will know not to use it? How about the ones who think nigga is okay, but object to nigger?

What about the use of nigger and other racial slurs in entertainment? Is that okay? Cuz, like, I can't imagine Blazing Saddles being very funny if they substituted "african-American" for "nigger."

And what about non-black folks who have been told by their black friends that they don't mind if said friends use the word nigger around them? And what about bi- or multi-racial people? Is, say, their 75% black allowed to bless their 25% white to say the word?

And then there's the "Is the person saying it trying to be mean and/or hurtful?" question. That's where some of the non-black folks get confused, I think. They know that when a black person calls them a honky or a cracker, the black person doesn't mean it in a nice way. (Although frankly, I don't think anyone's ever actually used the word honky except on the television and in movies, but you catch my drift.) But whereas a black person saying cracker is always meant to not be nice, the same person can say nigger/nigga with warmth and affection.

Which leads us to the "reclaiming" issue. That's a tough one on a lot of levels. Again, ostensibly it would require a consensus. And I don't really see that happening. The late Tupac said N.I.G.G.A. stands for "Never Ignorant Getting Goals Accomplished." And cries of "Bullshit!" have rung loudly ever since.

(Somehow I also have trouble with Tupac sharing his thoughts on ignorance, but maybe that's just me. Back on subject now.)

Not to mention, most efforts to reclaim words are abject failures. Look at "bitch" and "cunt." The drive to reclaim them has been fierce, and still, many women find them offensive and unacceptable. Are they (and their feelings) to be disregarded?

Obviously everyone who's been listening knows my stance. Words only have the power to hurt you if you let them. And everyone should say whatever the fuck they want. Pussy-footing around never got anyone anywhere.

None the less, I wish the nigger conference people luck with deciding when it's okay for who to use what word when.

Have a nice conference, kids.

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