Friday Flounder-Floggings

Boy oh boy, have we got a day for you today.

First up, the groundhog didn't see his shadow. WOOOOO HOOOOO!!! That means spring is on the way! Happy Groundhog Day, everyone!

And, um, is it just me, or does Punxsutawney Phil have the most boring job ever?

On a completely unrelated note, the NAACP and various other entities are pissed off about "gangsta parties".

--White students at Tarleton State University in Texas hold a party in which they dress in gang gear and drink malt liquor from paper bags. A white Clemson University student attends a bash in blackface over the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday weekend. A fraternity at Johns Hopkins University invites partygoers to wear "bling bling" grills, or shiny metal caps on their teeth.

From Connecticut to Colorado, "gangsta" theme parties thrown by whites are drawing the ire of college officials and heated complaints from black and white students who say the antics conjure the worst racial stereotypes.

University officials, the NAACP and others have condemned the parties as insulting and inexcusable under any circumstances. At the same time, some black academics said they were not surprised, given the popularity of rap music among inner-city blacks and well-to-do suburban whites alike.--

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Fuck, that is FUNNY!

I mean, the parties are funny. What's even funnier is that the do-gooders are outraged at totally the wrong thing. Seriously, fuck YEAH the parties are mocking black stereotypes. But those stereotypes exist because black "entertainers" perpetuate them.

Don't want white college students making sport of the rap/hip-hop culture? Stop acting like such fucktards.

Oh, and quit drinking your quarts of beer out of paper bags. Paper bags are for white winos guzzling nail polish remover.

On to the frat boys who are going to prison for hazing. Apparently they beat and maimed one of their "brothers" in violation of the laws of the state of Florida.

I don't really get why this sort of thing is even a crime. I mean, if you're enough of a loser that you will let someone beat you in order to "belong," you kind of deserve what you get.

We don't imprison consenting adults who engage in weird sex games involving bondage, whips, and velveeta. So why should we imprison consenting adults who engage in bizarre rituals in the name of brotherhood?

And is it just me, or does this whole fraternity thing seem sort of... queer? And I mean that in the greek sense.

Speaking of familial relationships, you American people appear to not have very "family-friendly" workplaces. Y'all ranked down there somewhere with Uzbekistan and Bangladesh.

I'm not quite sure why companies are supposed to subsidize life-style choices like spawning, but I guess a lot of folks think they should.

Here's my take on it. My people are all about the animals. They spend a lot of time, money, and emotional energy making sure all the furry bastards (and the scaley one) are skippy fine cool good. What they do is as important as the mission of those who have sprogged.

No, I take that back. What my people do is MORE important. Everyone is all about taking care of the kiddies and propogating your species. My people speak for, and advocate for, animals, who cannot speak for themselves. And who are considered unimportant, and disposable.

Sure, tell me I'm full of shit. But if employers are going to be required to accommodate life choices, everyone should remember that we judge you guys by how you treat those animals you tamed.

And more on the subject of human kidlets... Two of them are dead due to adult stupidity. One was squashed by its mother while she was supposedly protecting it from rats.

--A mother accidentally suffocated her baby while trying to protect him from rats in her rodent-infested New York apartment, a newspaper reported Tuesday.

Gladys Robles said her home had so many rodents, she would have her 8-week-old son sleep in her bed to protect him. But this week Robles rolled on top of the boy and killed him in her sleep, according to the New York Daily News.--

Ohferfuck'ssake. If your rat problem is that bad, MOVE. If you "can't" move (which is just an excuse), then turn the kid over to social services until you get back on your feet.

This ain't fucking rocket science, people. Anyone selfish enough to insist upon keeping her kid with her in such terrible conditions is a suck-awful mother.

The other deceased young'un was mowed down by a geriatric driver.

--A car plowed through the wall of an elementary school cafeteria during lunch Monday, killing an 8-year-old boy and injuring two other students and the 84-year-old driver, police in this St. Louis suburb said.

Ryan Wesling died of head and chest injuries about an hour after the woman's car slammed into Shiloh Elementary School, St. Clair County Coroner Rick Stone said.--

Right. And this elderly chick had no idea that her driving skills had gone to hell, right?

I get that there's a lot of feelings tied up in old folks giving up driving. Pride, loss of independence, acknowledgement of aging. But SHIT. Does it have to take ramming your car into some kid while he's eating his baloney sandwich to tell you it's time to hang up your driving gloves?

I tell ya, you guys have egos bigger than mine, and I didn't think that was possible. And those egos are gonna be the death of you.

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