Friday Fornications

Oh, so much interesting stuff, so little time.

Here's a book I'm not going to read:

The Deserter's Tale: The Story of an Ordinary Soldier Who Walked Away from the War in Iraq

By Joshua Key

As told to Lawrence Hill

Or, as they might refer to it in my circles, "I turned chicken and deserted to canada, and I'm too stupid to write my own book."

You know what? You guys should tell canada in no uncertain terms that you don't want cowardly trailer-trash losers like this back, and that you are revoking his citizenship, so they can't deport him.

From Tennessee, the lovely state that gave us the Anna Mae He story, we have this little dust-up where some idiot on strike from a muffler factory winged a rock at some poor bastard who crossed the picket line.

So here's what I don't get. Assaulting people and/or damaging their property is against the law, right? So why is it tolerated when it's in the context of a labor dispute? Yes, this guy was criminally charged, but the general sentiment in Ass Badger, Tennessee seems to be that the jobs belong to the folks who vacated them, and those who offer to fill said jobs "deserve what the get."

How come? They're just trying to get by, like everyone else.

On to some weird shit of the local variety.

--A woman has been arrested on suspicion that she tied up a man during sex, then stabbed him repeatedly with a knife and told him she likes to drink blood, police said.--

Okay, that just makes me want to take my massive moose-meat and go into hiding or something.

Public Service Announcement: Kids, don't fuck crazy people. And DON'T LET ANYONE YOU DON'T KNOW REALLY WELL TIE YOU UP!

In today's your tax dollars at work news, we have a cheating scandal at one of the service academies.

--The Air Force Academy said Thursday that 24 freshman cadets have now admitted cheating on a test and 12 others are under investigation but have denied wrongdoing.

The school originally said 19 students had admitted cheating and nine others were under investigation.

Two-thirds of the cases involve athletes, Air Force Academy spokesman Johnny Whitaker told The Gazette. The academy did not say what teams were involved.--

This incident apparently involves a test that doesn't even count towards the cadets' grade point average. I shudder to think what they're doing to cheat on the tests that are difficult, and actually matter.

And why does it not surprise me that two-thirds of the cheaters were athletes? They always think the rules don't apply to them.

Attending a service academy is a great honor, one that these douches are clearly not worthy of. Expell 'em all.

In our Anna Nicole Smith update, the dumb bitch didn't revise her will after her son died, so it says all her assets go to him.

Also, the Paternity Count is up to four. Christ in a sidecar. Four men who are tripping over their dicks to claim paternity. That's, like, some sort of pop culture record.

I just find it creepy that so many of the people whose lives Anna Nicole "touched" (and I mean that in a hands on the glands way) end up pushing up daisies. She's worse than that Murder She Wrote chick.

And just so we have our "What in the fuck?!?!" moment for the day, there's a rumor afoot that Britney Spears checked into rehab, then checked out the next day and went to get a tattoo. Um, Brit? You're making Paris Hilton look normal.

No, scratch that, because Paris doesn't have kids that she's publicly careless with. Brit, you're making Judy Garland and Joan Crawford look normal.

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