Wednesday Wankings

From the "Only In California" files, we have
a proposal to outlaw spanking by parents.

Spanking is already illegal in The People's Republic Of California if you are not the little bastard's parent. This proposed legislation extends that prohibition to Mommy and Daddy as well. (I was wondering something, and couldn't find an answer. Does the no spanking by non-parents apply to step-parents? Because HOOOOOOO BOY could I see THAT leading to some extremely funny - bad funny - situations.)

Anyway, yeah, let's outlaw smacking your kid on the ass. I think all parents should be forced to try to REASON with the little snot when he's about to run into traffic. Anything to thin the herd.

From south of the border comes a tale of a young man that probably should have been spanked more, and his crazy mother. He got cancelled by the Border Patrol, and his mommy wants the agent who shot him to be put to death.

--The mother of a Mexican migrant shot to death last week by a U.S. Border Patrol Agent asked for justice on Monday and said she would like to see the agent receive the death penalty.

"I want the death penalty for that killer, because my son was just trying to find a better opportunity," an emotional Laura Rivera told the Mexican news agency Notimex. "He was a young worker whom they simply killed in cold blood, so I want justice."--

Uh huh. Your kid (who was engaged in at least one criminal act when he was ventilated) was just minding his own business, illegally entering the country and wandering across the desert with his six closest friends, when some Border Patrol guy shot him dead.

Sorry, but no. Considering the other dudes he was with were taken into custody without any blood loss, your sweet baby boy was doing something he shouldn't have been when the hot lead started flying.

Shoulda taught your kid that crime doesn't pay.

On to Iowa, where emergency birth control is on trial at Wal-mart. Yeah, some pharmacist decided he had moral objections to dispensing Plan B, also called the Oops The Condom Broke pill.

Three words: What a moron.

The whole "life begins at conception" deal has nothing to do with Plan B, which is intended to suppress ovulation. I'm an uneducated moose, and even I know that. So why doesn't the amateur gynecologist at the Wal-Mart in Shitville, Iowa know it?

(Uh huh, uh huh. There's a one in a million chance that an already fertilized egg will fail to implant because Plan B makes the uterus hostile. Whatever. That's not why Inbred Buttfuck is objecting. He's objecting because he spends a lot of time jacking off in his shower, while other men get to bury their sausage to the hilt in warm, wet pussy.)

We're done here, you obnoxious clown-boxing pharmacist.

And then we have another boxing match: The Boxer vs. Rice smackdown, proving once again that not having kids makes other people say stupid things about you.

Yeah, Babs O'Boxer, fer sure. The fuckin' Secretary Of State of our fine country doesn't understand the cost of war, because she's never whelped. GOD DAMN you're a fucking moron. Condi Rice realizes the realities of war better than you ever will, you whining spoiled politician.

(Pardon me for a moment while I mumble "Barbara Boxer is a dumb cunt" under my breath.)

And last, we've got the mother of the l'il floaters from the San Francisco bay being found guilty, then being deemed insane.

Well duh. Of course she was guilty. She said she did it.

And no fucking shit she was insane. She'd been hospitalized multiple times for mental illness, she was borderline retarded, and her defense was "god told me to do it."

The question on the table isn't what to do with this woman now that she's killed her three kids. It's why we let rejects like this breed in the first place.