Martin Luther Who Day?

Okay, this is not intended as a slam against the memory of Martin Luther King Jr., who was a great man. (I've also heard he had a way with the ladies, which is always a wubba-wubba good thing in my book.)

But MLK has had a federal holiday for nearly twenty-five years, and yet he hasn't even been dead for forty. The timing just seems a little, um... rushed.

Now before you lynch me for being a bigot, hear me out. My objection to a federal holiday isn't - and wasn't - about the color of his skin, or about me thinking that federal holidays should only be for dead White males, or whatever.

But the holiday was first proposed four days after he died. FOUR DAYS. I don't think we should be proposing holidays or naming shit after people while the funeral home is still flushing their pipes and bagging their innards.

I mean, think about how many years it took for guys like Washington, Lincoln, and especially Columbus to get a holiday. Hundreds of years, and now Lincoln and Washington have been whirled together in the Hamilton Beach to make President's Day. They did so much, and they don't even have their own holidays.

And yet this guy gets a holiday proposed right after he gets cancelled, and it's signed into law fifteen years later? I dunno. I think someone should have to be dead at least twenty-five years before we start thinking about giving them a holiday.

I'm reminded of the renaming of Squaw Peak in Phoenix. They changed it to be the name of some woo-woo who was in Iraq in the Army, got lost, and got herself killed. Now they call it Piss-twat Peak or something. Nobody besides government employees does, though. Because she wasn't that important, and she wasn't dead five minutes when they decided to name a brown bump in Phoenix after her.

I tell ya, you people are strange. That "White guilt" thing sure makes you do some funny shit.