New Year's Revolution

Revolution. That's, like, turning in a circle, right?

Damn, I crack myself up. *snicker*

Wanna know what I think about new years? They're a lot like new months, new weeks, and new days.

Everything can be new at any moment in your life. You just have to see it, then be it. The revolution comes from inside of you. (Whoa. Another profound point. My moose-meat just ripped my pants.)

Now that I've made my motivational speech, here's my New Year's resolutions/revolutions:

-- Stop scratching or touching private parts in public

-- Tell nice hebrew man that I like and appreciate him

-- Finally bone that stand-offish girl moose, Chocolate

-- Keep reminding everyone why I'm always right

-- Appreciate pachyderms, hobbits, and other species that get on my nerves

-- Fiddle the massive Danny-dong on all days ending in Y

-- Other stuff way too silly or personal to mention

-- Be happy even when others are mopey

-- Remember how fortunate I am

Yeah, it's goopy. Sorry. I hate turning into a gay moose for New Year's. But I gotta be me.

{cue accordian solo from Revenge Of The Nerds}

Happy New year, world. I love ya, in a "I have a giant penis, but I don't want to use it on you" way.