Thursday Thoughts

To no one's surprise, Fred Goldman still hates OJ, and he's suing The Juice over the money he was given to write that creepy book. (Yeah, I know a ghost-writer did it. I just couldn't bring myself to say "ghost-writer" in reference to a book about how someone killed a couple of people.)

It's no secret the OJ isn't wound too tight, otherwise he never would have cancelled Nicole and her friend in the first place. But even he should be able to see he's playing with fire by trying to tool Fred Goldman. That man's got a look in his eye, like he's about one more public "fuck you" away from opening a big ol' can of whoop-ass on The Juice.

Is anyone at all going to be surprised if OJ ends up scragged?

Speaking of killing and mayhem and man's inhumanity to man or whatever, New Orleans is off to a good start on their homicide rate for the year. Four days in, and seven people have already had their tickets punched.

Huh. And here I thought the Big Easy had exported all their criminals to other cities after the hurricane. I guess they either came back, or new ones sprung up to take their place. Kinda like weeds, those murdering thugs are.

In other news, Nancy Pelosi is double bag triple coyote Mississippi ugly.



Oh, and she also was sworn in as Speaker of the House. First person without a penis to ever serve as Speaker. Making history and all that.

But she's still painfully homely. There ought to be Congressional hearings on all the boners she's killed. I bet it's almost as many as Hillary Clinton.

This story is sad, but I'm an insensitive bastard, so I'm going to laugh about it anyway.

--Royal Caribbean Cruises has agreed to pay more than $1 million to the estate of a Connecticut man who vanished from his honeymoon cruise in 2005 according settlement papers to be filed Thursday.

George Allen Smith IV disappeared on July 5, 2005, after a night of heavy drinking aboard Royal Caribbean's Brilliance of the Seas as it sailed between Greece and Turkey. The FBI has been investigating, but no one has been charged in his disappearance and no body has been recovered.--

So we've got two possible scenarios here. One is that he got drunk and fell overboard. The other is that his brand new wife told him that now that they were married, she wasn't going to smoke his pole anymore. He contemplated living fifty years without a blowjob, and threw himself into the sea in despair.

Of course, he might have seen a picture of Nancy Pelosi, suffered sever erectile dysfunction on his honeymoon, and staged his own death out of embarrassment.

Last and least, a seventeen year old guy in Nebraska kills two friends in a car wreck, then whines to the media that he's having nightmares.

Dude. You cancelled two friends after you'd been drinking beer. I'd be worried about you if you WEREN'T having nightmares, and feeling guilty as all hell. Oh, and those night sweats where you wonder if or when the cops are going to knock on your door and haul your ass off in handcuffs for vehicular homicide can't be too fucking much fun either.

Suck it up. You fucked up royally, and you're gonna pay for it one way or another for the rest of your life.

Public Service Announcement: Kids, don't drink. But if you do drink, don't drive. Nothing good can come of it.