This Is Just Weird

And for once, I've got no idea what to think. Read the story, and share in my moose-confusion. (No, that doesn't mean you can share my Chocolate, butt weevil. We're just not that close.)

--In the hours before his death on the evening of December 30, the first black mayor of this overwhelmingly white town started learning his new job.

About noon, he set City Hall's alarm system for the first time. He got instructions on how to raise and lower the U.S. flag. He had already ordered a new mayoral letterhead with his name on it and a button-down shirt embroidered "Gerald Washington, Mayor."

A few hours later he indulged in a hobby, placing a $4 bet at a nearby horse-racing track.

But by 10 p.m. Gerald "Wash" Washington was dead in the deserted parking lot of a former high school, a bullet wound in his chest. His gun was found by the body.

The coroner and the sheriff have pronounced Washington's death a suicide -- a finding that has embroiled this oil-refinery town in conspiracy theories, with Washington's kin and friends insisting he had no reason to end his life.--

See? Weirdness.

I mean, on the one hand, the coroner said this was a suicide, despite the protestations of his family and friends that he had no reason to do that. On the other hand, this is a black dude elected by a big margin in a town that's mostly white. No doubt a few people were cheesed off by that.

So either this dude erased himself for no apparent reason, or he was murdered by racists/bigots/pissed off people/whatevers.

I dunno, though. I think besides the one hand and the other hand, there might be a third hand in this case. (And yeah, I find the phrase "third hand" highly arousing. Thank you for asking, pervo.)

Everyone was saying how charismatic and popular and whatever this guy was. People like that are great to rub antlers with, but some of them can be real fucked up inside. Like their brain is this muddled mystery of stuff that normal people can't understand.

Look at, like, serial killers and cult leaders and people like that. Ted Bundy was a total charmer. Charles Manson was compelling enough to get a bunch of people to go out and kill people FOR him.

There's some politicians like that, too. Look at Kennedy. (No, I don't care which one you look at. They all suffer from the same sociopathy.)

I'm not saying I think this dude was a bad guy. I'm just saying, sometimes there's weirdness that comes with this kind of package. Oh, and I'm saying I've got no fucking idea what happened.

I hope if he was murdered that the guy who did it is caught, and if he killed himself that the family finds out why so they can have some closure.

Gack. This is all too confusing. I think I'll go rub my moose-wang until I feel a lot less puzzled.