Oh, Those Crazy New Yorkers!

From Brooklyn comes this, uh... interesting story about a couple who are having a troubled divorce. Part of the trouble is, neither of them are willing to move out of the family home.

--Like two Cold War adversaries, Chana and Simon Taub are separated by a wall _ one that was built straight down the middle of their home to keep the bickering spouses apart.

Neither one wanted to move out of their beloved Brooklyn house, and so, in one of the strangest divorce battles the city has ever seen, a white drywall partition was erected a few weeks ago on orders from a judge.--

Since I'm a "glass half full" kind of moose, I can see some advantages in no one moving out. No jack-assing the kiddies all over the place for visitation while the divorce is pending is a big one. When it's the other parent's turn, just shove 'em to the other side of the partition. (Am I the only one who wonders why a couple in their late fifties still has four children living at home? Get a bit of a late start, did we?)

And if they played their cards right, they could show their sproggies that divorce isn't the end of the world, because people can act like mature adults when a marriage ends.

Unfortunately, Mom & Pop appear to be completely uninterested in being an object lesson for amicable divorce. Instead, they seem to want to become the poster children for Assclowns Anonymous.

Why do I say that? Because something's not adding up here. They own another house two doors down from the one they've just partitioned, yet neither of them wants to move into it, in spite of the fact that they hate each other and are making bizarre accusations about one another.

He says she's a gold-digger, and has 300 pairs of shoes.

She says he abused her, that he's got her under video surveillance, and that he's bugging her phones.

I say, "You're both fucking nuts! You deserve each other!"

There are a couple of points to be made here, though. One is, in high-rent districts like New York City, it's usually not practical to force someone to move out. Especially since it's ordinarily the man who is forced to go elsewhere, and also usually the man who's earning the money to pay the mortgage. How exactly is it fair that the guy paying the bills has to go live in a hovel?

The other point is a little contradictory to point #1. If you really hate someone THAT MUCH, like these bozos, wouldn't you move heaven and earth to get the fuck away from them?

Kinda makes me think that they don't hate each other as much as they claim.

So here's some advice, Mr. and Mrs. Taub:

Tear down that wall! Then get really drunk one night, and fuck like love-starved weasels until the break of dawn. It will be a new beginning for you marriage. I promise.

Besides, nobody wants a 57 year old Jewish princess shoe whore or a 57 year old sweater manufacturer in poor health. You're stuck with each other.

What's that? Oh, you're welcome. And... No charge. This time, anyway.

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