Sucks To Be Humberto

Dude spends almost forty years here illegally, then cries in his Corona - okay, his Bud, because the locals down there in Mexico don't drink Corona - about the fact that his stupid ass got deported. His story might make me sad if he wasn't a fucking scumbag.

--He lived in California, Arizona, New Mexico, Wyoming and Colorado. He was deported once for driving illegal immigrants from Arizona to Idaho for a smuggler in the 1970s, again for failing to mention his previous deportation when applying for residency in Wyoming and finally after he drove with a broken taillight and had no papers to show police.--

Pay attention to the part that I bolded. You know, about driving the illegals across a few states. That's called human smuggling.

Human smuggling be bad. Bad things happen to wetbacks during human smuggling. Human smuggling is a serious felony for a reason. Yet this assbag gets described as a fuckin' Boy Scout... Just a few immigration violations and traffic infractions, my hairy brown ass.

And let's talk about those minor traffic infractions for a moment.

--He bought a small two-bedroom house, and in 2003, after working as a truck driver for a metal salvage company, he had saved enough to buy his own semi.--

Okay, I'm puzzled about something. He was making his living driving a semi he had bought, right? A semi is a big-ass truck, right? You need a commercial license to drive a big-ass truck, right?

So here's my question... WHY IN THE FUCK ARE WE GIVING COMMERCIAL DRIVER'S LICENSES TO ILLEGALS?!?!

I mean, let's all point our antlers towards the moon and ponder on this for a couple secs. (Heh. I said secs.) If Humberto accidentally wipes out a Mom, Dad, and their 2.3 kids tooling along in their minivan, what's the next thing he's going to do?

Yeah, exactly. Voluntarily re-patriate himself to mexico. Unlicensed, uninsured drivers are already a huge problem in the western states as it is. Now we're thinking unlicensed, uninsured drivers of big-ass trucks are somehow okay?

Words fail me.

But, there are some tiny points of light in the article to tickle the underside of my nutsack.

--Deportations have been increasing as the United States cracks down on immigrants caught in raids or arrested for crimes or other offenses. During the past decade, Central America has been flooded with deported gang members, many of whom went to the United States as infants and don't speak Spanish.--

Tough shit. We have enough home-grown gang-bangers. We don't need to import any.

--In the 12 months leading to Sept. 30, 186,600 illegal migrants were deported, nearly four times more than in 1995, the year before a new law mandating the expulsion of illegal migrants who have returned illegally after being deported.--

Cool. Now if we can raise that number by an order of magnitude, I'll flog my moose-sausage until it's bloody.