Ed-juh-KAY-shun

You ever hear that hillbilly joke about what a mixed blessing is? That's your mother-in-law driving off a cliff in your brand new pick-up truck.

I get a variation on that when I read the New York Times talking about school choice. It's called mixed emotions. I don't know whether to laugh my furry moose ass into a hernia, or pass the ammunition and fail to praise the lord.

See, the Times thinks that school choice in any form is bad bad BAD. They don't give a shit if homeschooling or charter schools or vouchers help any individual student. HELL no. They think you should rescue the bitchy mother-in-law, let the truck go off the cliff, and be damn happy to have done your part to save public education in America, god damn it!

Mostly I don't give a turd full of corn about the dismal state of the schools in my fine nation. Why should I? I can't vote, and I'm used to stupid people, so what the fuck difference should it make to me if they churn out a few gazillion more every year?

But then I saw this picture of some black kids with pigtails sticking out of their head at all kinds of funny angles. And I realized something. Those kids want to learn, and they shouldn't be prevented from doing that by a bunch of butch edu-crats.

My moose-meat swelled with joy. (Not for the kids, you fucking perverts.) No, I was engorged because I had realized something profound:

The continued existance of the teacher's unions is directly dependent upon making sure that those kids fail.

Yeah, I said it.

Think about it. If all the kiddies are doing well, the ever-increasing supply of "free" money stops coming. All that coinage, to help the "struggling" students, goes away. *POOF!*

But no one would be that cruel, would they? WOULD THEY?!?! Especially those folks who have dedicated their LIVES to the chilluns. To teaching them.

*cough - BULLSHIT - cough*

Folks go into teaching for a lot of reasons. They stay longer than they should because of the summers off, and the fact that they can't be fired even if they really suck hairy sweaty balls. Burned out asshole educators ain't doing those kids with the pigtails jack shit worth of good.

And here's something my ass has been itching to say for a long LONG time... What the fuck do the edu-crats care if the students who really want to learn take their paltry-ass state money and go elsewhere? It's cheaper for the state, and less work for the teachers, and better for the kids who leave.

Chew on this for a second. The parents who want school choice WANT THEIR KIDS TO SUCCEED. That's it. No sinister plan to wreck the public schools. No desire to get more than their fair share. Fuck, they're willing to settle for less, just to get their kids out of the fucked-up, dangerous, ineffective public schools.

The next argument the edu-crats will vomit up is that the exit of motivated students with good parents will leave only the dregs and the SpEds. The behavior problems, the dumb-fucks, the kids with indifferent parents, and the special ed students.

So the fuck what?

Yeah, I said it.

The dregs and the SpEds don't have a right to drag everyone else down to their level. And anyone who thinks they do can get right down on their knees and suck my giant moose cock. Education is supposed to be about doing something good for kids, not about making people feel good about mediocre outcomes.

And let me say it again: It's CHEAPER for the taxpayers if the edu-crats do a Moses and let the motivated kids and their parents go. And by god, it's more humane. And it frees up dollars to teach more SpEds to tie their shoes.

So I gotta end this with a question. Who can tell me the REAL reason edu-crats are against school choice?