Maybe He Just Needs A Baby Jesus Butt Plug

Okay, this is just WRONG. A lady that worked as an organist at a church for thirty-five years, essentially for free, has been fired from her job for making her living selling sex toys and other "love aids." The priest who fired her claims the products she sells are "not consistent with Church teachings."

--A Catholic priest has removed his church's organist and choir director from her duties saying her sale of sex toys was not ''consistent with Church teachings.''

Linette Servais, 50, played the organ and sung with the choir for 35 years. Much of her work as choir director and organist was done without pay. When her parish priest asked to meet with her, she thought it was to say thank you.

Instead, she was told to quit her sales job with company known as Pure Romance or she would lose her position in the church.

Pure Romance in Loveland, Ohio, is a $60 million per year business that sells spa products and sex toys at homes parties attended by women. It has 15,000 consultants like Servais.--

So let me get this straight. Catholics want people to have lots of sex, and make lots of little Catholic babies. But they object to the sale of devices and lotions and oils and such that might help women actually ENJOY all that baby-making sex.

Has it occurred to priests like Father Dombroski that if sex is a chore on par with scrubbing the toilets to a woman, she might not be willing to put out very often? Has it dawned on him that the Pure Romance folks are performing a valuable service, by helping women work through whatever issues they might have with their sexuality? Who the fuck are these women SUPPOSED to talk to about their questions and concerns? Their priest, who knows roughly as much about sex as I know about playing the trombone?

That was a shitty thing to do to this woman who has given her life to her church. But why should anyone be surprised? Catholic priests are the sick bastards who molest altar boys, or the even sicker bastards who cover it up.

I'm telling you, she really should anonymously send Father Dobroski a Baby Jesus butt plug. That'll fix what ails him. While she's at it, she needs to tie him up and make him watch The Dildo Song a hundred or so times.

WARNING!!! If you click these links, you will see pictures of adult toys, and hear a song about dildos. I shouldn't have warn people about shit like this, but I don't need the aggravation of getting hate mail saying "That was a link to a picture of a Baby Jesus butt plug!" Duh. What did you think it was? A link to a recipe for beef stroganoff?

On a completely unrelated note, I was doing some reading in preparation for tonight's season premier of Hell's Kitchen. I was kinda shocked to run across a story about a contestant from last season, Rachel Brown. Apparently she has passed away.

--Rachel Brown, a 41-year-old personal chef who competed on the second season of Fox's Hell's Kitchen, was reportedly found dead in her family home in Bedford, TX on Wednesday, May 9.--

As vague as the story is, I'm guessing suicide. But whatever happened, it's kind of freaky and sad.

Other top stories on that particular reality TV site include the tale of Baldwin vs. Bull.

--Stephen Baldwin learned just how real reality television can be when he was reportedly bucked to the ground by a bull while filming CMT's Ty Murray's Celebrity Bull Riding Challenge last Thursday.

"I held on for about four jumps, and then I just ate a bunch of dirt," Baldwin told Reuters in a telephone interview Friday.

A safety helmet apparently didn't help Baldwin, as he told Reuters he suffered a broken left scapula as well as a broken rib when he "landed hard" and "got stepped on a little bit, too" during the training session that ended with his fall.

"We were supposed to be on these kind of dainty versions of [bulls] that weren't supposed to get too excited," he told Reuters. "But you never can tell what a bull's gonna do. So this particular one that I had kind of rose to the occasion."--

So in other words, it isn't just members of their own species that hate the Baldwin brothers. Pussyfied bulls hate them too. *snicker*

My jaw dropped when I saw who some of the other contestants are. Leif Garrett? He's been off the radar for about three decades. Vanilla Ice? Two decades. Rocket Ismail? Isn't that the dude who wrecked his career because he thought it was a good idea to play football in Canada instead of for the NFL? And the list gets less impressive from there.

The bottom of the barrel has officially been scraped. Baby Jesus butt plugs all around.

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