Sunday Snake-Slapping Spree

Today it's all about business. No, not monkey business. BUSINESS business.

Like this guy who's being shipped off to federal prison for hiring illegals.

I like that you guys are finally prosecuting these dirtbags. I mean, this dude deliberately and consciously hired nothing but illegals. Thousands of them, in fact, all of whom were using fake or stolen Social Security numbers.

But fifteen months in prison doesn't sound like a lot. I guess it's kind of offset by the twelve million dollars he has to cough up, but still. Maybe knowingly hiring illegals should have a minimum sentence attached to it. Say, one month per illegal. You hire a dozen, you get a year. You hire thousands, you spend the rest of your life in federal prison.

I still like the $12 million asset forfeiture, though. Hit him where it hurts.

Next, we have some fucktards who object to the Pizza Hut Book It program.

--You've read the book, now eat the pizza.

Since 1985, that's been the gist of Pizza Hut's Book It, an incentive program used by 50,000 schools nationwide to reward young readers with free pizzas. The program is now under attack by child-development experts who say it promotes bad eating habits and turns teachers into corporate promoters.

Book It, which reaches about 22 million children a year, "epitomizes everything that's wrong with corporate-sponsored programs in school," said Susan Linn, a Harvard psychologist and co-founder of the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood.--

So let me get this straight. A bunch of do-gooders are saying it's wrong to use pizza to entice the sproggies to read.

How right they are! America should just let the little bastards fall further and further behind their international peers, in the name of protecting them from developing a yen for Pizza Hut!

Come ON. No matter which way it's played, they'll still end up wanting Pizza hut. Even if they never see a television, the internet, or the Savvy Shopper coupons that come in the mail, their peers will tell them about pizza, and Pizza Hut.

So what the hell. They might as well have to do something to earn the succulent delight that is Pizza Hut, rather than just giving it to their fat asses for merely existing, right?

And then there's this week's whining feminist story.

--A woman, fully clothed in a tight dress and spiked heels, lies on her back, hips raised as a bare-chested man holds her down and four other men look on.

The menace in the situation is underscored by the fact that the woman is blankly unsmiling and some of the men appear to have slight sneers on their faces.

It isn't clear what is happening. Has he knocked her down? Is he about to strangle her? To some, the print ad from fashion brand Dolce & Gabbana suggests gang rape. To others, it's a matter of a fashion-forward brand publicizing itself.

Kim Gandy, president of the National Organization for Women, found the ad surprising and disturbing. "It's in Esquire, so they probably don't think a stylized gang rape will sell clothes to women, but what is more likely is that they think it will get them publicity," she said. Esquire did not respond to calls for comment by press time.

"It's a provocative ad but it is provoking things that really are not what we want to have provoked," Gandy continued. "We don't need any more violence." NOW is considering some form of protest, and will include it on the "Love Your Body: Offensive Ads" portion of its Web site. D&G reps declined comment.--

Oh, what the fuck ever. Dolce & Gabbana also has ads where the woman is the one controlling a bunch of guys, and ads with nothing but men in, uh... similar situations. (OH NOES! The homos are taking over!) But seriously, the chick in the photo looks... bored. She's not in any trouble. It's not a simulated rape in the making.

But ol' Kim Gandy and the rest of the irrelevant feminists have to find some way to spend their time, and D&G's "controversial" ad campaign is this week's cause.

Um, Ms. Gandy? Might I recommend a deep dicking instead? It's a lot less work (for you, anyway), and a hell of a lot more fun.

And oh, the business of idiotic lawsuits beckons. The Chocolate Mayor of the Chocolate City explains:

--Only $1 billion of the $77 billion the city is seeking from the Army Corps of Engineers is for infrastructure damages it says it suffered because of levee breaches during Hurricane Katrina. The rest is for such things as the city's tarnished image and tourist industry losses.

The city "looked at everything and just kind of piled it on," Mayor Ray Nagin said.--

Ohferfuck'ssake. The sooner the sea reclaims that dirty, dangerous, crime-infested, piece of shit city, the better.

And can somebody explain to me why these assholes are allowed to sue the government in the first place? The Army Corps of Engineers did their best. It's not their fault that you can only thwart the will of Mother Nature for so long.

Last and most important, we have some Congressional stupidity - the Employee Free Choice Act. Read the AFL-CIO's take on it here. Read the law itself here.

I'll come back to this subject later, because it's huge. But in a nutshell, the amendment of the National Labor Relations Act, which has been passed by the House and will now be considered by the Senate, removes the protections for employees from coercion by unions from the NLRA.

Yeah, now THAT is an idea whose time has come.

Not.

.